PITCH
Two friends make a bet, but the only way to find out who is right is to build a time machine and travel back in time into their glory days.
PDF link:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1PLU7L8rqsGYzNgazTp7AqjsRbJLTA4w6
OUTLINE
Two friends, Indranil and Oscar, both well educated, bet each other about the name of one bartender who they saw together when visiting a rock and roll club in the 70’s; they both have a different name and both think that they are right. Since the story is happening almost 30 years later in 1992 they cannot find out what her name really was, so they have an idea to build time machine. They are almost done, but Melanie (Oscar’s wife) disturbs them. They meet one day later and try the machine on Oscar’s dog. He comes back with proof from 15 000 years ago. Their machine works.
A few days later, Oscar and Indranil are about to try the machine by themselves. They set everything and use the machine which teleports them into the 70’s. Firstly, they can not believe their own eyes, but all the evidence they see makes them believe in their own success. They find the club and decide to have a good time and wait for the girl to show up, so they can finally know who the winner is. Eventually, the girl enters the bar and moments later Indranil realizes that Oscar was right. Oscar wins the bet money but comforts Indranil that despite losing the bet, they can both be happy because they made the time machine and now they are sitting in the club they know from their golden years.
PDF link:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1oIuoa34tg9w8TlCbI_2l7iyPt_3MqqDe
TREATMENT
Autumn, 1992
The story begins in a small, English countryside town (like Oakham) where Oscar (a physics teacher) and his Indian friend, Indranil (an IT professional), are about to try their time machine which they secretly built in Oscar’s back garden shed. They had made a bet about the name of the bartender who they met when they were young at a rock and roll club. Oscar is certain that her name was Violet, but Indranil believes it to be Juliet.
They are almost done with building the machine when they are interrupted by Melanie (Oscar’s wife) who arrives home from work earlier than expected. Later, Oscar calls Indranil and agree to meet the next day so they can finally try their experiment undisturbed. The next day, they put the final touches on the machine, but realize that they must do a test run. They think hard about the test subject but can not come up with anything until Albert (Oscar´s dog) suddenly bursts into the shed and they immediately decide to use him as their lab rat. Sending him into the year 15,000 BC was successful and Albert comes back with a piece of wooly mammoth trunk in his mouth.
That is just enough evidence for them that the machine works so they plan their own adventure into 1975 to find out who was right. A few days later, they return to the shed ready to time travel. Indranil presses the starting button and they are teleported into the year 1975. At first, they are skeptical about their success but, once they see that all the cars correspond to that era and even recognize some people, they are sure and head to the music club.
Later, in the club they order some drinks and enjoy their golden years once more.
The girl is nowhere to be found so they start worrying that they may have altered events. However, not long afterwards, the girl finally appears and moments later Indranil finds out that Oscar was right, so he lost the bet. Oscar is taking the mickey out of Indranil, but also comforts him that even though he lost the bet, they both win anyway because they managed to experience their good old times again.
PDF link:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1SsDP-MWhLXzN-Rfa2dw80pBbKXuLQkfg
SCRIPT - FIRST DRAFT
PDF link:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1gBrwrtG1DQ8UznO1uO3QyZkTLYDfUcB1
SCRIPT - SECOND AND FINAL DRAFT
PDF link:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Qnk9QzBJCq1y7qOgAt3FIhFRVIkoaFiT
SCRIPT REPORT FORM
PDF link:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1BWdd47j63S6xb9LJRi07QCA8tc-gPBzU
REFLECTIVE REPORT
In the beginning I did not know what to expect, having never met with the term “narrative forms” and I never considered myself able to write real script. Surprisingly, in our first lesson I felt very comfortable. Watching all the films and thinking about script writing has enriched my knowledge of film making, which for me is an essential element of this course.
When we received the assessment of writing our own stories, I was not quite sure if it was good idea because I had never written on. I was also expecting that I would be restricted by concrete requirements of what the story needs to be about and how to write it. I felt the idea of combining different stories from every student in our class very strange. How the time flew! As we continued through lectures, everything became more and more clear, and I have started to understand the reasoning of making my own small story. We were given a newspaper to find some title and make our pitch according to what we had found. I picked an obituary with somebody’s name followed by “father and lecturer”.
After a while I thought about a narrative where an older guy, whose hobby is inventing things, comes to some trouble because of one of his creations. My plan was to make a short comedy situated in small countryside town. When it came to the story’s development, it turned out that there is not enough juice in it and I needed to implement more ideas. I considered the movies I like, about things I like to do, or I am interested in, hoping that it would inspire me. Soon it all started coming out and I put together a small tale.
My first draft of this tale began in a backyard shed situated in a small English town where two friends, Oscar and Indranil, were about to try their invention - which they believe is the first ever time machine. Their goal is to establish a travel agency where customers can travel into the past and return. This idea came from my interest in history, travelling, and repairing mechanical devices. At first, they try the machine on a bottle which disappears in the machine but does not come back.
The next day brings more success when during the second try, the bottle disappears then returns. Surprised and happy, they decided to try it on something alive to make sure it will be safe for them. While thinking about their subject, Oscar’s dog breaks into the shed and becomes their first customer. The dog disappears into the machine and comes back with a historical artifact in his mouth. They successfully try it on themselves then start searching for their first customers. Story moves six months later. The travel agency is a big, but secret, success. The two friends are earning good money when something unfortunate happens… Melanie’s widowed mother falls into the machine and disappears without a returning device. When Oscar and Melanie come back, and his mother-in-law is nowhere to be found, Oscar is forced to reveal the truth and tell Melanie about the time machine. Oscar, Melanie, and Indranil start their journey in search for Melanie’s mother. After a few adventures in different time periods they seek help from a history teacher who is also Oscar’s colleague. With his help - and through a series of troubles - they finally find the mother who refuses to come back with them because she found love with a noble man from 18th century. In the end, the mother stays, and the group return to visit her during every holiday, which turns out to be a great way of life.
When I got the feedback for my story I was told that it is interesting, but it seems to be too long for a ten-page script, so it might be troublesome to fit everything in. I totally agreed but could not imagine how I could cut the story but not lose the plot. I started cutting out unnecessary events but was not able to make it short enough without destroying it. I decided to keep my idea about time travel and the characters but create a new story to fit the required script length. While thinking I remembered a bet I did with my friend long time ago. I came up with an idea of two friends making a time machine just because they bet each other about something what happened in their past, but they both remember it in a different way.
In my second draft I kept a similar beginning as in the first one but changed the whole plot of the story. Instead of hunting for the mother Oscar and Indranil make a bet about a girl’s name from a club which they visited 30 years ago in the 70’s. They also try the machine on Oscar’s dog who comes back with a historical artifact as evidence of their success. The two friends decide to plan their journey a couple of days later when Melanie is out of the house. Later, they step into the machine and are teleported into 1975. They cannot believe what just happened and are skeptic about it, but when they see signs of that decade they believe their success. Oscar and Indranil find the club where later on, it is discovered that Oscar won the bet. They squabble, but then agree to enjoy their stay and have a good time.
After making a detailed treatment I started writing my first script in WriterDuet online software. My first draft was 12 pages long, but after useful feedback I wrote my second draft, which after cutting some scenes, getting rid of unnecessary words, and rewriting some parts, it fit in ten. I learned that editing can be a difficult process.
Creating two stories about a similar concept helped me to train my creativity and gave me a better understanding of script writing and story making. Reading the stories of others and giving feedback was a very good experience; it made me think about films differently and to be able to have critical opinion which is key in my future career. Overall, I really enjoyed these interesting lectures and learned a lot of important things about script writing, storytelling. Personally, I found the narrative forms module very helpful for my future development in the film industry.
PDF link:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1lz5PRRsqtijp5jfpwdAl3gLjmy7LsKah
Comments